I ain't got Nuthin or No one
by rocketraccoon18
Summary: After the Guardians defeated Ronan, Rocket realized that he was alone.. Again. Rated T for Language some Violence and Thoughts Of Suicide.


"I ain't got Nuthin' Or No one."

Rocket Raccoon, the feared bounty hunter, Skilled thief, genius level technician and tactician was sitting on the floor of the shower crying quietly. It was evening of the fourth day after him and the rest of 'those idiots' (Who people were starting to call the Guardians Of The Galaxy.) had defeated Ronan.  
After the battle Rocket had realized just what Groot's death had meant. He was alone, again, Out of desperation he had done the only thing he could think of doing. He grabbed a rifle out from the wreckage of the Dark-Aster, marched over to the nearest Nova Officer and demanded a pot, soil, and some form of plant growth accelerate and when the Nova Officer appeared to ignore him. Rocket figured he would get the man's attention by melting off his knees.

Rocket remembered pulling the trigger and hearing the man's screams there was movement behind him and as he turned there was a flash of green followed by a sharp pain on the side of his neck. He remembered waking up in a hospital bed and for the first time he didn't freak out. He simply didn't care, If he was back 'There" then at least he would die and leave this cold hateful world behind him. Beside him on a table by the bed was a small part of Groot that had been placed in an earthen-brown pot.  
The next few days were a blur of conferences and meetings with the heads of Xandar's security and government. He barely remembered them, all he knew was that he was alone. The nights weren't any better, he had given up trying to sleep after the first few hours of the first night. The five had been given permanent rooms in Nova headquarters. He now spent the night's sitting there on his bed in the dark drinking restlessly and staring at Groot's pot, hoping.

Today he had gotten off his bed, It was still very dark outside, but, that didn't matter to him. He could see in the dark just as well as, if not better than Peter could in the daylight. He watered Groot and sat there staring at the small twig, trying to see if there was any improvement. He was close to giving up hope and now he was just doing it to give himself something to do. He had gone to the conference room before the others had even gotten up. When they got there Rocket noticed that they were a little surprised to see him there. There was another meeting they talked but, Rocket wasn't listening he answered the few questions that were directed at him with short answers no more then a few words. But, mostly he just sat there silent and still. After the meeting the others went to a thing for some Holo-net show while he had gone to his room. Peter had asked if he had wanted to come, He declined saying: "Flark no! It ain't safe for me to show my face on those things.", Peter opened his mouth to say something, "And if you think it'll somehow be 'good' or 'healing' for me then your WRONG QUILL!" and he slammed the door in Peter's face.

When evening drifted in, Rocket grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. He turned the water on to as hot as it would go. He undressed and stepped into the shower shivering as the hot water coursed over his fur. He hissed as it ran down the bare spot on his back burning his skin slightly. He felt the familiar electric tingling buzz through his body as the water reacted to his implants.  
He sat down drawing his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his shins. He sighed and rested his muzzle on his knees, his tail curled around his ankles That's when the full force of his emotions came crashing down on him. He found himself crying heavily and it confused and scared him at first, "Why the hell am I crying?" he said aloud as the hot water mixed with the tears that were now flowing freely through his fur. That's when he realized that Groot was probably never coming back and that he was going to be alone for the rest of his life.

His grief quickly turned to anger, Anger that was aimed at the one responsible for Groot's death. Not Ronan, Ronan hadn't come up with the plan they had used. No, it was Peter Quill and himself, he was angry at. Rocket growled and stood up, he turned off the water and pulled on his pants, he didn't bother to hide the scars and implants on his back. He was gonna kill Peter, Get out of the building, find a nice quiet place in an alley somewhere and cut his wrists..  
He walked down the hall to Peter's room and hammered on the door.  
"Dammit, hold on!"  
He could hear Peter moving around in the room. The door was pulled open.  
"Down here, dumbass!" Rocket said as he pushed past Peter and into the room nearly knocking over the vase that was on a table by the door. He walked into the kitchenette and grabbed a glass.

"So, What's up?" Peter asked as he closed the door. He walked into the kitchenette.

Rocket was silent as he opened the liquor cabinet and seeing that it was empty he realized that the Nova Corp must've put the liquor in his room in the lower cabinet for him. Peter noticed what the raccoon was looking for. "What do you want? I can grab it for you."  
Rocket sighed in frustration, ""Badoon Whiskey." Peter handed him the bottle.  
Rocket took the bottle and filled the small glass, he drained it and began to pour another when he noticed Peter watching him.  
"Whada ya lookin' at?!" he snarled. Peter jumped visibly startled by the harsh tone in his voice.  
"Nothing, it's just that, Do you think that wise? That's a lot of alcohol for some-"  
"Something like me?, A monster?, That what ya gonna say?" Rocket interrupted.  
No!, Hell no Rocket. I would never say anything like that to you and you know it.", He sighed, "Look man, I know how you're-

Rocket threw the glass against the fridge, turned and jumped up on the counter, his toeclaws scratching the surface, He turned he was at eye level with Peter. He reached out and grabbed the collar of Peter's shirt and pulled.  
Peter realized just how dangerous Rocket was at that moment, As he was nearly lifted off his feet. He realized how dangerous it was to underestimate the raccoon. He stared into Rocket's eyes determined not to show the fear he was feeling. Rocket pulled him close to his face so that they were nearly touching. "You. Know. Nothing. Quill. You're just saying that to try and calm me down, To prevent me from doing anything you don't want me to.", Rocket spoke in a clearly enunciated voice that scared Peter more then being held on his toes by a being who only came up to a little past his knee, "You and I are the ones who killed Groot, Not Ronan. We did, We're the ones who came up the plan. Groot would still be here if it wasn't for us." ,Peter was shocked to see tears in the raccoon's eyes, "And now, cause of our failure, I'm alone again." , Rocket's voice trembled as he said those words. For a moment Peter could see the deep well of pain despair, and self-loathing in the racoon's deep brown eye's. It was only there for moment then the well iced over with cold hard anger and determination, "And I'm sorry, But,.." ,He let out a short humorless bark of a laugh, "Well, actually I ain't sorry at all, But, I'm gonna have to kill ya."  
Peter opened his mouth to protest. "Rocket lis-" was as far as he got he choked on his words as Rocket punched his windpipe and wrapping both paws on the Half-Terran's throat he began to strangle him. It felt as though Rocket was crushing his throat.  
"Shaddup!", Rocket yelled in his face the, smell of the whiskey on his breath made Peter's eye water, "Just shut up and DIE" Blackness was closing in on Peter and Rocket's voice seemed far away. He struggled, Trying to pull the raccoon's paws off. But, it did nothing.

Things would have gone very badly if Gamora hadn't walked in at that very moment.  
"Peter, Nova Prime would like us to-" She stopped when she saw what was going on. Acting quickly she grabbed the vase that was sitting by the door and she threw it. She aimed for the counter near Rocket. She figured that the noise would startle him. It did, Rocket jumped hissing the fur on his tail and on the back of his neck puffed out. He released Peter, The Half-Terran stumbled backward coughing and rubbing his bruised neck., "I'm alright." he said then he passed out and fell backwards against the fridge sliding down to the floor.  
Gamora moved quickly and hit the side of Rocket's neck with side of her hand, It was the same move she had done on the day of the crash Dark-Aster's crash. The raccoon's eyes rolled back into his head. With a sigh he collapsed, she swiftly caught him before he could fall to the ground. She carried him over to the couch and gently laid him down.  
Then she went across the room and over to Peter, who was slumped uncomfortably on the floor and slapped him across the face.  
"What?! What? I'm awake!", he sat upright, "Ow! Gams that hurt!" He rubbed the hand print that was forming on the side of his face as he stood up. Gamora grabbed him by the shoulder shaking him slightly as she spoke. "What was that about?!" She gestured to the couch where Rocket lay. Peter walked over to the couch and looked down at the unconscious raccoon.  
"He blames both me and himself for Groot's death, He came in here talking about how since we were the ones who came up with the plan we used we're the ones responsible for Groot's death.", He sighed heavily and turned to Gamora, "The thing is though, He's right about one thing it was my fault. Not his mine." Gamora had seen the way Peter had watched Rocket after the crash. Though he had hid it remarkably well, She could see the look of pity and remorse. So, she suspected as much but, to hear it from his own mouth was slightly startling.  
"It was Groot's choice to do what he did. He sacrificed himself so that we could live." She said carefully, "Besides, We don't know if he really is dead."  
Peter picked up Rocket, cradling him in his arms the way he had done on the Dark-Aster, And started to walk over to the door. "Yeah, I know that. But, I just can't help feeling responsible for it is all."  
Gamora opened the door for Peter, and followed him down the hall to Rocket's room.

The room was surprisingly clean lacking the usual clutter that seemed to follow Rocket wherever he went. Peter and Gamora noticed that the bed was wrinkled but not undone. The kitchenette was just as clean as it was when they got the rooms. Peter noticed with a sinking heart that all of the food that had been delivered to the room by the Nova Staff was sitting there untouched on the table. Peter found himself trying to guess when Rocket had last eaten. He realized that it had to have been before they all met. He carried Rocket over to the bed, kneeled down and gently laid him down. He glanced over at Groot's pot and said a silent prayer to whatever god's there were who were listening. He asked for Groot to come back soon.  
"Peter.", Gamora said there was a faint trace of worry in her voice, "He's been drinking, a lot." she was standing in the kitchenette looking at something on the floor. Peter stood up, He walked over and saw what she meant. A cabinet lower to the ground was open. Several small bottles were scattered around on the floor, Some were empty other were very nearly so. Peter sighed, No wonder Rocket had seemed so distant lately, He had been drunk for the past three days. Peter was amazed that Rocket had even been standing, Then he remembered how on Knowhere Rocket went from drunk to sober really quickly. He figured it had something to do with his modifications.  
Peter looked out the window at the setting sun.  
"It's getting late Gams, I think we should all just go to bed and we can talk about this in the morning."  
Gamora looked over at Rocket laying on the bed. "What if he tries to attack you again?"  
"I'll sleep in here on the couch, I'll keep my guns with me don't worry, I'll be fine, I just want to watch him to make sure he doesn't try to... You know kill himself or anything.  
"Very well then." Gamora turned to leave she walked to the door and turned back. "Just watch out for yourself."  
Peter smiled briefly at her. "I will, Good night."  
Gamora nodded and went out of the room.

Peter sighed and went over to the couch, he looked at it, "Eh, this won't be that bad... I mean it's a Nova building. Top dollar everything, this'll be comfortable like my bed on the Milano.." He sighed remembering his ship.  
He glanced over at Rocket who was still laying on the bed then quickly went up the hall to his room. He grabbed a tee shirt and some plaid sleep pants, He hurried back to Rocket's room. He crossed the room and went into the bathroom. He was going to shower, get something to eat and go to bed.  
In about three minutes he was out, He walked across the room and into the kitchenette he opened the fridge and grabbed some of the cold meat, that was brought in every morning while they were out in one of those meetings. He placed the meat on the counter and opened the cabinet where the bread was kept. He reached inside and grabbed the loaf he stopped, there was a sound that made him stop and turn, he looked over at the bed, Rocket was gone. Peter felt a slight flutter of panic wash over him as his thoughts went wild. His hand dropped to where his guns were, Then he remembered that he had left them in the bathroom. He silently cursed himself as he moved over to the doorway, he put his palm on the door, there was a sound scared him. It was the distinct double click whine of one of his pistol being charged. He quickly pushed the door open, "Rocket!", He yelled, hoping to get the raccoon's attention and to startle him so that he would have more time to act.

The raccoon was sitting on the counter, Peter's pistol belt was beside him, His shoulders were slumped forward. His tail was limp it hung over the side of the counter, His ears were drooped down. Peter had never seen Rocket look so broken. Peter reached over and took the gun away from him. Rocket sighed, "You know, I could've killed you when you was showerin'. I thought about it too.", Rocket laughed quietly, "And wouldn't have been the first time I've had to do that. But, then I realized that it ain't your fault. You didn't kill Groot.", Rocket looked at Peter all the anger and hatred had drained away leaving, nothing, absolutely nothing.. "I did.", Rocket continued, "If I wasn't so... Flarkin greedy, I wouldn't have come after you. If I had never been made, We wouldn't have met and he wouldn't be dead.", Rocket's shoulders trembled as he held back a sob, "I'm a mistake, that kills everyone around it."  
Peter placed his hand on Rocket's shoulder. "You're not a mistake Rocket. You're a-"  
"YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND!", Rocket yelled, tears flowing down his face, "I AM a mistake, Do you know what the odds were of an animal surviving this?!", He jabbed his thumb at the implants on chest, "One, out of, Two billion, Three-hundred fifty-six million, nine-hundred thirty-four thousand, six-hundred twelve! Do you know how many failed attempts there were before me? Twelve... I am a mathematical impossibility... A mistake!", Rocket was crying freely now unable to gain control over his emotions, "I was thrown into sentience without being asked. I'm sick and tired of the fighting and the pain. I just want it to be over..."

Rocket sat there leaning against Peter's arm crying. It was about twelve minutes later when he was finally able to stop, he drew a shaky breath and looked up at Peter, "I've heard that family lasts forever, If that's the case why is mine dead?"  
Peter felt a tremor of pity as he realized that Rocket was actually asking a serious question. He looked down at Rocket and was suddenly reminded of himself the day his mother died.  
"I can't answer that, I don't know, No one does."  
Rocket hopped down off the counter and walked out of the room. "That's not what I wanted to hear Pete." he mumbled as he left.  
Peter followed him watching closely, Rocket went into the kitchenette and Peter followed.  
"Relax Pete, I ain't gonna do nothin', I just wanna get a drink."  
He went over to the Alcohol cabinet and felt around. He took out a bottle that was about halfway full.  
"Half empty... Damn.", He took opened it and before Peter could stop him, he drank straight from the bottle.  
Peter moved quickly and took the bottle away from him. Rocket growled at him "What th' hell Pete? I just told you how I was feelin' and now you take away the thing that has dulled the pain?", He stood up shakily, "I hate you, You-"  
"Rocket just STOP!" Peter yelled the last word to get the raccoon's attention, "Dude, it's late, Can we just try to get some sleep?"  
Rocket scoffed, "I ain't been sleeping, I haven't slept since the Klyn, If you can call that sleep. But, Hey, I'll watch you sleep though..."  
Peter shuddered at the thought of Rocket watching him while he slept. "No. You haven't slept in a week!"  
"Yeah, I keep thinking about Groot."  
Peter thought about this for a moment, "You know.", he began, "When I was little, and I would have trouble sleeping. I would share a bed with my mother.."  
"NO!", Rocket yelled, "I ain't sharing the same bed with ya Pete! The flark are ya thinking?"  
Peter raised his hands defensively, "It was just a suggestion."  
"Yeah, well it's a terrible one."  
"The only other option would be giving you a light sedative, Just enough to help you relax."  
"No! I ain't lettin' you touch me with a needle, Try it and I'll bite one of your fingers off."  
"Well, I'm not letting you watch me while I sleep, that's just creepy."  
Peter sighed and looked at his watch it was 1:00AM XST, "Well dude, we can't stand here and argue about it all night. We've gotta do something."

Rocket walked over to the couch and sat down on it. He looked at Peter grinning slightly, "You can go to bed anytime Pete, I'm just going to sit here."  
Peter thought about the alcohol cabinet, then about the pistol. "I'll stay awake until you go to sleep, I can wait as long as you can.  
"No, ya can't I'm mostly nocturnal and you ain't."  
Peter though about this, "Okay then I'll tell you what, If I fall asleep before you do I owe you 200 units. And, If you fall asleep before I do then you owe me 200 units."  
"Sounds good to me, I hope you brought your money Pete."  
"There's more, We can't talk to each other and the room needs to be dark.  
"I hope you ain't plannin on cheating me Pete I've got better night vision than you do."  
"I ain't going to cheat Rocket, I don't do that unless I can get away with it."  
"Get rid of your watch Pete I ain't got one."  
Peter stood up and turned out the lights in the room, plunging it into darkness. He took off his watch and tossed it towards the counter. He went back to the bed and sat down. Then there was silence, Peter sat there watching the place where he knew Rocket to be. He sat there feeling sleep drifting on the edge of his mind. But, He forced himself to stay awake. It was both boring and very hard. He felt himself drifting off to sleep and he sat upright feeling and hearing his back pop. He had no way to tell how much time had passed. It was torture but, He kept himself awake.

Finally he could bear it no longer, He stood up and walked over to the light switch he was about to turn it on and tell the stubborn raccoon that he had won. But, right as he touched the switch he heard it: A small, faint snore coming from Rocket's direction. Peter smiled and turned the light on to it's dimmest setting. Rocket was laying there curled up like a cat on the couch. He had his muzzle resting on his forearms and his tail was curled around him like a blanket. Peter smiled, He knew exhaustion would overpower the raccoon. Peter turned off the light and walked back to his bed. He laid down and fell asleep.

* * *

**Author's whatever.. This story started off as something different and I don't know if it ended properly or not.. But, I can't change it now so I'll live with it.  
Now I've gotta get off of this laptop, I can hardly type properly... Thank god for spell check :D**

**~RocketRaccoon18**


End file.
